crash land Archives - Jeremy C. Processing

Directors – Leela Varghese, Emma Hough Hobbs – 2025 – Australia – Cert. 15 – 87m

*****

A lesbian princess must travel through space to claim her inheritance and rescue her true love (who just dumped her) from straight white maliens – out in UK and Ireland cinemas on Friday, June 19th

NSFW

Princess Saira of Clitopolis (voice: Shabana Azeez) has been voted the Most Boring Royal ever – but then, her heart’s desire came along in the form of Kiki the Destroyer (voice: Bernie van Tiel) and changed all that. And then Kiki dumped her. Fuck!

Cue title song: “She’s a lesbian. She’s in space. And she’s also a princess.”

I was already won over by the silliness of the writing at this point. The animated visuals too demonstrate a unique, equally winsome style. Co-directors Varghese and Hobbs possess a real gift for humour, and have between them scripted the perfect comedy, in this critic’s opinion the hardest genre to pull off successfully. The narrative is punctuated by further, likeable indie songs which contribute to its appropriately alternate feel.

While Saira fails to summon the an ancient lesbian symbol of the labrys on her 23rd birthday, Kiki’s four in a bed sex games are disrupted by the arrival of the straight, while maliens the leader, Josh and Larry (voices: Melbourne comedy group Aunty Donna aka Mark Samual Bonanno, Broden Kelly, Zachery Luane) who suspend her over a vat of toxic home brew in the man cave where they find themselves exiled.… Read the rest

Spy x Family
Code: White
(SPY x FAMILY
CODE: White)

Directors – Kazuhiro Fusuhashu, Takashi Karagiri – 2023 – Japan – Cert. 12A – 111m

*****

A spy and an assassin are married to each other, each unaware of the other’s secret career, while neither of them are aware their adopted daughter is a telepath who therefore knows everything they don’t – bonkers anime deploying cookery to prevent Armageddon (!) is out in UK cinemas on Friday, April 26th

An opulent art deco ball. Couples dance. A man connives to be alone with a drunken woman so he can…photograph a file in an office desk. A woman driving a car rips off her face (in the manner of the characters in Mission: Impossible II, John Woo, 2000) to reveal… a man, the spy Loid (voice: Takuya Eguchi). Another woman, Yor (voice: Saori Hayama), is revealed as an assassin when she kills a man who sold industrial secrets. The spy and the assassin are married to one another in a pretend marriage which is a cover for their undercover operations, although neither knows the other is in the spy / assassination game. Their daughter Anya (voice: Atsumi Tanezaki) – adopted to make the bogus marriage look real – is a telepathic orphan who can read minds, so knows about the two secret identities of her ‘parents’.… Read the rest