Adeline Rudolph Archives - Jeremy C. Processing

Director – Simon McQuoid – 2025 – US – Cert. 15 – 116m

***

Dragged into an otherworldly tournament a washed up 1990s action star must fight other contestants to the death to save the Earthrealm – out in UK cinemas on Friday, May 8th

King Jerrod (Desmond Chiam from Joy Ride, Adele Lim, 2023) of Edenia loses the tenth fight in a to-the-death tournament to intergalactic despot Shao Khan (Martyn Ford from Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Matthew Vaughn, 2017), who thus takes over as ruler of Edenia, despatching Queen Sindel (Ana Thu Nyguen) when she attacks him and adopting the child Princess Kitana (Sophia Xu) as his own daughter. By the time Kitana (Adeline Rudolph from Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Brian Taylor, 2023) has reached womanhood, she has mastered such combat skills as her two deadly-bladed fans, under her personal combat trainer Jade (Tati Gabrielle), who is also her trusted ally and friend.

Meanwhile on our own planet, following a clip from one of his better movies – a brilliantly choreographed parody of 1990s action movies – washed up action movie star Johnny Cage (Karl Urban from Star Trek, J.J. Abrams, 2009; The Lord of the Rings; The Two Towers, Peter Jackson, 2002; Xena: Warrior Princess, TV series, 1996-2001) is approached by Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano from Shogun, TV series, 2025; Journey to the Shore, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, 2015; Shark Skin Man and Peach Hip Girl, Katsuhito Ishii, 1998)

and Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee from The Meg, Jon Turtletaub, 2018; Battle of the Sexes, 2017; Home and Away, TV series, 2007) who appear a little like Schwarzenegger in The Terminator (James Cameron, 1984) via lightning bolts in a car park following Johnny’s attendance at a fan convention to ask him to join them as champions against Shao Khan in the upcoming tournament to decide the ruler of Earthrealm and the fate of all mankind.… Read the rest

Hellboy
The Crooked Man

Director – Brian Taylor – 2023 – US – Cert. 15 – 99m

**1/2

Hellboy must confront a dark labyrinth of hills, the Crooked Man who tricks people out of their souls, and some unresolved family matter from his own past– latest franchise reboot is out in UK cinemas on Friday, September 13th

1959. Hellboy (Jack Kesy), his assistant Jo (Adeline Rudolph) and an FBI man are transporting a deadly spider in a boxcar across the Appalachians to a lab where Jo can subject it to further study when the creature goes berserk, busts out of its crate, precipitating a terrible struggle in which the FBI man is killed and their boxcar is thrown down a steep embankment. They have arrived in a place where, we later learn in dialogue, a network of mining tunnels acts like veins to the living creature that is the hills, and the authorities have built a church atop the hills in the exact place where a portal used to connect a world of demonic forces with our own world.

The area is frequently visited by the Crooked Man (Martin Bassindale), who carries with him numerous coins, each one representing a soul he has tricked into selling him- or herself to the Devil.… Read the rest